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’ I look up at River. I have never heard her cuss in my life. There is a cold flame burning behind her eyes now. I smile seeing her rise to my defense over something ten years dead if not forgotten. ‘Yeah, she was that. I think the day we ‘got together’ was actually a mistake. She got carried away.’ I shrug a little. ‘She got horny and let it go to far.’ River grins. ‘Yeah, I’ve see the girls in my class do that too. Some of them have ended up with babies in their bellies.’ ‘Yeah well, we were headed down that path for sure. There was nothing in the world going to stop me from cumming in her.’ I grin. ‘Well, exceptfor my Mom walking in on us.’ River laughs. Then get serious. ‘Why haven’t you since then. I mean ten years?’ I sit silent for a few seconds. ‘I didn’t want to be hurt that bad again.’ She looks at me for a time then smiles slowly. ‘And me? What about me? Did you figure I wouldn’t hurt you?’ she asks then reaches for my hand again. I take her fingers into mine. Not meeting. ...not such a good idea lol I realize these days I do not want to be a woman just like women's panties and certain clothes and wigs.this also brings up another issue that was unresolved form my early twenties and that was my attraction to transsexuals. instead of exploring why I have felt these thoughts feelings I harbored them. I hid my feelings not only from my family but also my friends. I became the closet cross dresser who was also attracted to transsexuals keeping it under lock and key in my mind. it was the only place where I could find comfort with it. now let me state after sometime I did not feel weird about how I felt just who the hell would except it. I was a person who gave in to pure pressure all the time back then. since I was too stubborn to be me completely honest eventually it ruined my relationships with people I dated. because I wanted to wear women's panties and wigs lip stick make up the whole deal. I wanted to also dress to dress up during sex.I convinced one.
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